My wife was dying and I was by her bedside.
She said in a tired voice "There's something I must confess."
"Shhh" I said, there's nothing to confess. Everything's all right.
"No I must die in peace," she said. "I fucked your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!"
"I know," I whispered "That's why I poisoned you, you cunt, now close your eyes"